


Beside You

by seungskwan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 23:46:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5069548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seungskwan/pseuds/seungskwan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>aka all my seventeen member x member drabbles. read the first chapter for more info</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

hello ! i decided i would be posting all my seventeen drabbles in one things instead of separate. so that's how i got here. a few things first

-no smut. if i ever do post anything in this sexual it will be very small mentions  
-only member x member stories will be in here. i'll probably do a few things only based around one member with no relationships  
-so basically no imagines with u and ur bias okay  
-most of these will probably have proper grammar but a few may have lapslock. i apologize ahead of time  
-probably a lot of jicheol or angst. or both 

so that's all basically! if you want to request anything you can leave a comment or message me on my tumblr (@seungskwan) and i'll try it.


	2. Friends - seungkwan x hansol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is lapslock and about 500 words. yikes

maybe things were different for them. that’s what seungkwan tried to convince himself at least. maybe they weren’t just friends. and maybe, hansol loved him back. probably not. hansol didn’t treat him just as a friend, seungkwan was sure of that. just friends don’t call each other baby and kiss each other when they got lonely. though the kiss would always end with hansol pulling back in a fit of giggling and snuggling up to the other’s chest, exclaiming how weird they were. but seungkwan always liked the way it felt.

he was scared. seungkwan was fucking terrified of his feelings to put it simply. it was wrong to be in love with his best friend. it was wrong for him to be in love with another boy. at least that’s what he’s been told. seungkwan never thought it was wrong. seungkwan thought it was okay to like who you want to like, why was it affecting anyone else? but he knew how it works out. he knew his family would be disgusted with him. a lot of people would be disgusted with him. seungkwan didn’t want to be in love with hansol the slightest.

he couldn’t stop his feelings. hansol made him happier than anyone ever had. hansol was always there for him, no matter how small the problem was. even if seungkwan knew he was overreacting, when seungkwan was upset, hansol always acted like the other was the only person he could focus on. and seungkwan appreciated that a lot. seungkwan appreciated hansol a lot. they both had nights were either of them would complain about themselves, how they didn’t want to be an idol and how shit they were at everything. those nights always somehow ended up the same. they’d end up holding hands in one of the beds, talking about everything going on.

tonight was seungkwan’s night to deal with hansol. he also didn’t mind one bit.

“i just, you know. i thought she cared about me.” hansol sputtered out. it went like this too often for seungkwan’s comfort. hansol was in a relationship, something went wrong, they broke up. seungkwan would never admit it but deep down there was a part of him that was grateful this happened a lot so he could talk to hansol more. because honestly, he liked these types of conversations they had. he liked the feeling of hansol finding comfort in him and being able to tell him all of his feelings.

“she did care for you.” that was probably a lie. seungkwan really didn’t know anything about the girl hansol was going on about or much less her name.

hansol nodded and gripped onto seungkwan’s hand harder. seungkwan felt his face flush and had never thanked god so much for the fact that they lights in their dorm went off at this time. he had to contain himself. remember it’s wrong to be in love with hansol. it’s wrong for you to love him. it’s wrong for you to be in love with him. seungkwan wanted to stay like that with hansol forever. they didn’t need words to explain their feelings for the next few minutes, it was clear they both wanted silence. for seungkwan, it went by way too quickly. he wanted to hold onto hansol’s hand forever and— no. he shouldn’t be thinking of his best friend like that.

“hey, seungkwan?” hansol looked up at the other boy. “have you ever been in love?”

yeah. with you.

“no, i don’t think i have.” that was another lie.

“yeah, me neither.” fuck.


	3. jihoon - don't you mind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING - Suicide and depression

"oh i was thinking about killing myself, don’t you mind?"

one. jihoon tried to be perfect. jihoon studies, jihoon works for his members, jihoon practices, jihoon puts up his act. jihoon does jihoon and the rest of the world does themselves. that’s how it’s always been, how it always will be. no one notices when jihoon is upset and no one notices when jihoon has been crying the entire night. jihoon seems okay therefore jihoon should be okay. it doesn’t matter. 

two. jihoon likes being alone. jihoon doesn’t need to worry about the constant buzz of holy-fuck-they-probably-hate-me. instead, he finds his fears in the constant ticking of the wall clock that he’s going to mess up and what is he even sitting in this dark room for? he doesn’t need anyone else with him, it’ll just make him more anxious and vulnerable. no one notices when jihoon slips away. jihoon seems okay therefore jihoon should be okay. it doesn’t matter.

three. jihoon likes sleeping. he doesn’t have to deal with anyone and for three hours, maybe four if he’s lucky, he gets to be in complete and utter silence. three hours where jihoon is not crying and jihoon is not depressed and jihoon is not scared of being alive. he is not afraid anymore. no one notices when jihoon passes out from crying and comes back an hour later smiling brightly. jihoon seems okay therefore jihoon should be okay. it doesn’t matter.

four. jihoon likes seungcheol. seungcheol doesn’t make him scared and seungcheol reminds him of all the beautiful things and on occasion, seungcheol tells him that he appreciates jihoon being alive. seungcheol makes him feel special and jihoon doesn’t want to let go of the other. he is in love with seungcheol and has never regretted anything more. seungcheol is in love, though it’s not with jihoon but jeonghan. no one notices how goddamn heartbroken it makes jihoon to see the love of his life staring back at another. jihoon seems okay therefore jihoon should be okay. it doesn’t matter.

five. jihoon likes pills and alcohol and mixing pills with alcohol. the pills make him feel something he doesn’t get and the alcohol helps him to forget all the shit he goes through. he shouldn’t be having so much, he knows. he doesn’t care, really. what’s the point of too much? how bad can it be? no one notices how jihoon constantly steals the other members medications and how he pops the bottle caps easy as hell. jihoon seems okay therefore jihoon is okay. it doesn’t matter,

six. jihoon likes the feeling of the rope around his neck and the chair beneath his feet. jihoon likes how it feels when one, two, three, and - jihoon does not feel anymore. jihoon doesn’t like being perfect, jihoon doesn’t like how being alone feels, jihoon doesn’t like how shitty he feels after waking up, jihoon doesn’t like the hell that seungcheol put him through, jihoon wishes he still didn’t like pills and alcohol. jihoon does not have to deal with it anymore. he is now dead but jihoon seemed okay, therefore jihoon was okay. it doesn’t matter.

seven. jihoon should’ve mattered.


	4. Red Butterflies - Seungcheol x Jihoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> au in which seungcheol is on death row. side jeongcheol if you squint enough

“I told you I’m sorry, okay? I really didn’t mean to, Jihoon. You know that. You know we were planning our future; we were waiting for our marriage, our children, everything. I wanted that, and I wanted you.” The male had been going on for who knows how long, repeating the same words over and over again. Every five minutes Jeonghan had made his rounds, asking if Seungcheol was waiting for anyone and when they would show up. And every time he asked that ,he would receive the same answer, that he had everything he could possibly ever need right there with him.

“I’m really sorry and I,” he paused to let his eyes droop down to his fingers intertwined with each other. Guilt. That look was way too familiar to the guard. “I love you a lot, Jihoon. It was a mistake. Please know it wasn’t on purpose, that it wasn’t my fault. Please,” he pleaded again.

Seungcheol didn’t have a lot of time left before he would have his life taken from him. Over the months Jeonghan had guarded the inmates, he was one of the few that he had grown to enjoy seeing everyday. One of the few that didn’t threaten his life every time he walked them out of their cell (ironic though, as they would be the ones having their life gone soon.) He would talk to the guard about his life, his family, and his passions on their short walks to and from the cell. Jeonghan would hear him constantly going on about how he always dreamt of being famous, only to have that dream replaced with hopes of being let go to see Jihoon. Jeonghan didn’t know who Jihoon was.

Majority of the people locked up are here for the same reason, that being murder. Seungcheol was just like everyone else, and Jeonghan had to continue reminding himself that. He couldn’t get too friendly with any of the inmates for his own good, he was told that multiple times in training. Whenever another guard would see his smile towards Seungcheol, he was pulled to the side to be reminded again. But it hurt Jeonghan to see him suffering in here no matter how much he tried to convince himself he was yet another man who attempted to kill someone, and he succeeded. It was hard to think of him that way when Seungcheol would sit against his cell door, rocking himself to sleep as he whispered about how much he loved Jihoon.

Another guard gave him a glance. Jeonghan took that as a cue to walk towards Seungcheol.

“Inmate, time is almost up. Are you sure there’s no one coming?” His eyes peered up into the others. Dark, brown eyes wallowed with depression, or doubt. He didn’t know which one it was, but he didn’t think it mattered because looking down at the lost boy in front of him affected me either way.

“I told you. I have all that I need right here.” Jeonghan nodded at him, giving him a hand gesture to stand up. He looked unsure of himself and followed anyway. It was time for what they both knew had been coming, though neither of them wanted to say it. They didn’t have to. Seungcheol murmured something the other couldn’t quite make out as they began walking down the hall, followed by three other guards for safety purposes.

As Seungcheol was placed into a chair, limbs locked tight so there was no way possibly to remove himself, the guard took once last glance at the boy. He was only twenty one. He could have had so much ahead of him, he could have had those dreams he wanted to accomplish if he wasn’t locked away in this forsaken place.

Before being given his lethal injection, Jeonghan had asked him if he wanted to say any last words before he would be killed. He nodded his head and smiled thoroughly up to the other male. He smiled, as if he didn’t know he would soon be dead.

“Jihoon is right beside me, so I’ll be fine. Get it over with.”

Choi Seungcheol, twenty one years old, killed on lethal injection after murder of husband Lee Jihoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you didn't understand, seungcheol had accidentally killed jihoon but believed he was still alive.


End file.
